The Delusion of Victimism

Welcome to this month’s Q-Wave Newsletter

One of the biggest problems today that we face is summarized by a quote from Henry David Thoreau. 

He said ‘I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.’ 

What is he really saying? He’s saying I’m in control of my life. If I consciously focus, if I can take my attention and focus my abilities I can raise my life standard. See, too many of us are falling for determinism. This delusion of victimism. Hey I’m just a victim. My life. Isn’t my fault. My health. Isn’t my fault. My marriage. Isn’t my fault. My job dissatisfaction. Isn’t my fault because I’m just a victim. I’m a victim of circumstance. 

He said, there are three different types of determinism. Three different ways that we blame life. We have genetic determinism. Hey I’m just Italian. Hey I have an Irish temper. I was programmed to behave this way. We have what’s called physic determination, which basically means my parents taught me how to do this. I was just nurtured this way. I was raised to think this way. And then we have environmental determinism, which means it’s my boss. It’s my spouse. I’m not responsible for my own life. 

Too many of us play this victim card. And here’s the crazy thing about it. We have a delusion of victimism. What does that mean John? Now, if you’ve ever gone to a parent of a child with asthma you say do you smoke? They immediately get angry. We never smoke around our child. We smoke outside. Even if you just saw them get out of their car with their child in their arms and cigarette in their mouth. Delusion is where they have a very firm held belief. It’s not based on reality or rational argument but if you try to challenge them on it they defend it. So delusion is when I bring up  something to a patient or a family member or if I’m talking in the mirror and I immediately get agitated, I immediately get frustrated. Well, it’s probably a delusion. We protect things that we don’t want to face. Well with delusion by basically getting upset don’t you dare challenge it.

So we have a delusion of victimhood, which means don’t you dare try to tell me my life is my fault. Don’t you dare try to tell me that my health is my fault. Don’t you dare tell me that my obesity is a product of me not working out, not making a smart choice about what I put in my mouth. My lack of sleep and my poor water intake. Don’t you dare tell me that my marriage is my fault. I’m responsible for my marriage. Colleagues, it’s the first habit of highly affected people. Be proactive. 

Henry David Thoreau said ‘we’re in charge of our life. We can raise our lives by conscious endeavor.’ Now, what are the four major human endowments that allow us to do that? Number one is self awareness. We can look at our lives and determine which course we want to take and then we can use our imagination. We can use our imagination protecting the future to say who do I want to become? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be? We can then use our conscience and say wait a second, do I want to align my growth development and where I am going to go to moral laws and principles or do I want to be selfish? And the last thing is I have my free will. I can do what I choose to do because I’m in charge of my life. I am in charge of my life just as you are in charge of your life. And ladies and gentlemen anybody who is watching, listening, or reading this here is my question for you and I ask you to be deeply honest about this. 

Where is your life not your fault? Where are you stuck in your life if not in a good circumstance, but it’s not really your fault? And who are you blaming? Is it genetic determinism, psychic determinism, or environmental determinism? 

Now I’m not saying that we don’t have a past. Things happen to all of us. I mean I’m responsible for how I live today. It’s kind of like if someone left a baby outside your front porch, rang the doorbell, and ran away. You open your door and see a baby there. I mean you are clearly not to blame for that baby being there but you are responsible for caring for that baby. Colleagues you may not be to blame for what’s happening in your life but, you’re responsible for how you are living it now. 

Henry David Thoreau said ‘I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavors.’ Colleagues I am going to call you to raise your life by conscious endeavor. Use your self-awareness, your imagination, your consciousness, and your free will to set a life of design you are proud of.  

Good luck and God Bless.